Thursday, November 8, 2012

A Wedding Speech... for my beloved mother


When my mother first asked me to do a toast at her wedding reception, I thought to myself, “I’ve got to make this the best toast ever written”.  After all, how often does a son really get to do a toast at his own mother’s wedding?  Although some of my cousins with parents that have been married more than once may have a different answer to that question, in my world, it’s not very often…

I thought, “I’ve got to make this epic.  This toast has got to be laden with stories of high-speed car chases, gun fights, heroes and villains, a knight on his valiant white steed and a princess locked in a tower….”

Then I thought… “Who am I kidding?  This isn’t even close to the true story of George and Jo (or “Mom” as only my sister and I are so privileged to call her).  Their story is much more like a romantic comedy—you know—the kind senior citizens go to see at eleven o’clock in the morning on a Thursday and use their AARP cards to get half-off their tickets and free popcorn.   

So I nixed the explosions, the wrong-way down the highway car chase, the cops and robbers, etc. and decided to go with something more practical.  I kept the handsome, courageous knight (played by George, of course), but I replaced the white steed with a gold Subaru Forrester.  I also kept the damsel in distress (a.k.a. my mother) but instead of having her locked in a tower, she plays the role of a paralegal locked in the 9 to 5 grind, commuting in and out of Boston every day.

So our knight and princess just so happen to share an interest in politics and cross one another’s path in an effort to sway the local favor in the direction of one Mr. John Stronger.  They work day and night on a grueling campaign strategy and find one another to be smart and driven, ambitious and caring, honest and strong-willed.  Oh, and their movie-star looks were not lost on one another, either.

Long after the campaign, our knight and princess would once again find their paths crossing on a train out of Natick bound each weekday for Boston.  It’s on this train that our main characters would speak of many things: politics, of course, but also life, love, their amazing children, good times, bad times, etc. etc. etc.  I like to think that the last morning that they each got on the train, something very strange happened… they were the only ones on it.  And the train had a different destination this time.  Instead of being bound for Boston, it chugged right on towards sunset.  And as the credits start to roll, we see the golden sunshine gleaming off of the train windows and the silhouette of our knight putting his arm around our princess with assurances of a life that will be lived happily ever after.
 

 

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."

   
                                                                               --A.A. Milne


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Bright Lights, Big City

 
     The falafel stands on every corner.  The sweat-like steam that rises from the grates in the street every time a subway train passes underfoot.  That death-defying game of cat and mouse played by millions each day who want nothing more than to cross from one corner to another.  The hawkers and peddlers who are supporting their families by pestering you into buying knock-off designer perfumes and handbags.  Call me crazy, but to me, these are some examples of the sights and sounds of New York City that I found most intriguing.   

     In early October, I decided to take a two-day hiatus from the hum-drum of my everyday life and head to New York City with a tourist's intentions and a tourist's schedule.  I woke up very early on a Tuesday morning in a small hotel abutting Central Park on W. 103rd and Manhattan Avenue.  I showered and dressed quickly and made my way to the closest convenience store for a coffee, a Nesquik chocolate milk (which is easily the best chocolate milk going, these days) and some sort of large pastry resembling a bear claw.  After being handed my change by the Greek, Pakistani, Armenian, Italian, Iraqi, Bulgarian man at the counter (it was very difficult to tell where he was from, but he was big and had very hairy hands), I walked the one city block between myself and Central Park and looked for a place to sit and enjoy my breakfast.

     I made my way up and down a few of the concrete pathways where, much to my surprise at 6:15am, many others were out and about running, power walking or otherwise getting their days started in some manner of cardiovascular exercise.  Many of the benches that looked comfortable and suited for a sit and a small breakfast must have been as I judged them to be, as most were occupied by homeless squatters, sprawled out and fast asleep as though the Ritz Carlton had just laid them with fresh linens.  After much searching, I did manage to find a vacant bench and was kindly rewarded by the gods for my patience and persistence with this view:


     While eating my breakfast, I was cheerfully greeted by many forms of fauna, all seemingly saying good morning and greeting me to their city.  Ducks of all shapes and sizes, a flock of honking Canadian geese, a stray cat, some gray squirrels, chipmunk after chipmunk-- they all made it a point to stop by like the maitre'd at a restaurant does-- to make sure my meal was OK.  One particular Black Lab almost found out how my bear claw was first hand, before his leash was pulled taut by his owner!

     Now, it's important to note that once I finished my breakfast, and over the course of the next several hours, I managed to see almost everything one could hope to see in New York City over the course of a week.  I did it in a day.  I took the ferry out of Battery Park and went to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.  Once back on terra firma, I toured the 9/11 Memorial and the almost-finished Freedom Tower.  Much like the Kennedy assassination of our parents' youth, where none of them will ever forget where they were when they heard the news, my peer group will surely never forget where we were when the planes struck the towers.  This had a profound impact on me in closing my eyes and thinking of the bedlam that played out on that horrible day.  Things almost went silent for me as I imagined it all.
 
     After the 9/11 Memorial, I walked up to see the Merrill Lynch Bull (where the majority of tourists were taking pictures from the "behind" view:), Wall Street, and those who are "occupying" it.  I could not quite tell if they were homeless or ardent activists, but they sure were still there doing their "occupying".  I think I'm going to start a new movement called "Occupy Church Street", where I do daily sit-ins at my apartment.  I'll let you know how it goes over! 
 
I walked from Wall Street up to Little Italy, where I sat at a small table outside an equally as small cafe and had a cappuccino and "The Best Cannoli on Planet Earth" (which wasn't half-bad).  I made my way through China Town where sign after sign offered "The Best Back and Feet Message of Planet Earf".
(I didn't stop for one, as I've never been to planet Earf, and therefore had no basis for how good the "message" might be!) 
 

 I took the subway Uptown to 42nd St. to see the mentally-overloading, seizure-inducing lights and pop culture advertisements of Times Square.  From there, I took an elevator to the observation deck at the top of the Empire State Building.  The views were unbelievable.  You look at some of the other really tall buildings from street level and think, "Boy, those are huge," but when you get to the top of the Empire State Building, you're looking down at them thinking, "I can't believe those are so small from up here."  Dizzying and awe-inspiring.  Not for the faint of heart. 

After my descension, I walked from 35th to 53rd to meet a friend for a beer at a fantastic place called "Alfie's" that served nothing but craft beer.  Right up my alley.  I had a Leaf Pile Pumpkin brewed by the Greenport Harbor Brewing Co. out of NYC.  Really, really good beer.  Perfect for a 62 degree day smack in the middle of Manhattan.
 
     I did not do some of the things one might classify as the ear marks of a NYC sight seeing tour, i.e. Madame Tussuad's Wax Museum (I'd been there, before), the Intrepid Museum (been there, too once, when I was a little boy), Yankee Stadium (sacrilege-- go Red Sox!) and others.  After all, I had walked probably ten-plus miles that day, already, and was wearing out. 
 
     I feel it's important to note that the majesty of the Statue of Liberty, welcoming the poor huddled masses yearning to breathe free, and the sheer history of the millions of hopefuls that poured through the hallways of the building on Ellis Island were not lost on me.  I felt their presence and the cloud of oppression that was lifted off of them upon reaching America.  I was mesmerized by the skyline from afar.  I was transported back to my college apartment, when my mother called me on 9/11 to tell me with fear and angst in her voice to, "Turn on the television.  The world is falling apart."  I felt like a grain of sand on a beach of people, history, industry and progress.  I felt all of these things.  You'd be hard-pressed not to, but on second thought... BOY THAT WAS A GOOD CANNOLI!
 

 



Thursday, October 4, 2012

Driving (me crazy)...

Driving, for me, has taken on many forms over the years:

The Freedom Stage: Obviously when you're sixteen, driving represents a sense of freedom, of not having to fight with your sister over who gets to sit in the front seat of your mom's station wagon, of being able to go where you please as fast as you can get there with practically no regard for traffic laws or fellow drivers.  This beginning stage, which usually lasts from sixteen until twenty or so, is when most of one's accidents and tickets occur.  This can be attributed fairly equally to inexperience and stupidity.  Take it from the kid who rear-ended three people during snowstorms in his first winter behind the wheel!  I'll chalk that one up to inexperience... certainly not stupidity! :)

The Smart vs. Not So Smart Decisions Stage: This stage typically begins the day you turn twenty-one and are legally able to drink alcohol.  During this stage, alcohol is the accelerant for most of our smart/not so smart decisions when it comes to the "Should I be driving?" discretion.  This is also the stage where you start playing the "I know it's a left turn only lane, but I know I can beat him off the line and go straight anyway" games or the "I know that when that light turns red, this one turns green" savvy.  Taking your bombed out friends home... smart decision.  Waking up with your car parked sideways in the front yard next to the oak tree forty feet from the driveway and not being sure how either it, or you got home... no so smart decision.

The "I'm the Best Driver on the Road" Stage:  Unfortunately, the Smart vs. Not So Smart stage can last in perpetuity for our entire lives.  After all, give someone a 2,000lb. vehicle that goes 125mph and stupidity is bound to ensue.  That said, I'd like to think we get a little bit smarter as we get older and that the smart decisions start to outweigh the no so ones.  This gradual shift has a tendency to convince one's self that he is the best driver on the road and everyone...  and I do mean EVERYONE... else is an absolute moron.  An idiot.  An ignoramus.  Nicely put?  A &*#!$% idiot.  There are the common racial driving stereotypes, the cab drivers, the non-blinker users, the slow ones, the fast ones, the "updating my status on Facebook while sitting in front of you at a green light" ones, the "beep at you the second the light turns green" gang and countless others.  Honestly, I'd almost rather walk, these days, than subject myself to the frustration I feel for being the best.  It's a burden, really.

There are many other stages of one's driving life including the "I'm So Old, My Leg Isn't Strong Enough to Push the Pedal Hard Enough to Go Over 27mph" stage and the "I Only Have One Finger and It's the One in the Middle" stage.  When I hit these, I'll touch on this subject again! :)






Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Please wipe your feet before entering...

Wearing the Inside Out
 
Welcome to the wonderful world of what's inside my head!  Join me in my day to day ramblings and imbibe all you can of the random things that play themselves out somewhere in the region between my ears.  All are welcome and none will be denied passage. 
 
 
"It's lovely to know the world can't interfere with what's inside your head."
 - Frank McCourt from Angela's Ashes